Pumpkins for the Faint of Heart

Can't handle the CARNAGE  involved in carving your Halloween pumpkin? Maybe you're just one of those people that do not desire all that orange stuff under your nails, or maybe the thought of reaching into something and ripping out its intestines is unappealing to you. There's a word for you guys.

                                  COWARDLY.
But in all seriousness, there is a pumpkin for people that are faint of heart, or busy moms who don't want to have to clean up after their jam-sticky-handed children, (Children always have sticky jam hands.) etc.


I stumbled across the "Craft Pumpkin" yesterday while out doing errands, and the first thing I had to do was poke it a lot. After that assessment, I deemed it worthy to take home. I got out my little ghetto kitchen knife and carved in a face, while my older sister Isabelle watched, laughing at me the entire time. She recommended I carve this face into it:

So I did.

But look! No mess, no gore! And that's the point of this post: To show you a way to carve pumpkins and not make a mess. They come in regular pumpkin colors as well, and they usually go for around six dollars or less.
You can tell by looking at the inside that it's similar to Styrofoam, but not all disgusting, dry, and squeaky like Styrofoam usually is. Once you're done carving your face, all you do is pop a candle in and BOOM:

INSTANT TERROR.

And now lo and behold, you are now the proud owner of a very happy calcified husk!

My sister was thrilled I made her derp pumpkin face. YOU'RE WELCOME ISABELLE.